You don't realize how much you miss your blog until it's taken away from you. FatCow took several weeks to get its act together and finally fix whatever problem was keeping my posts from showing up. I'm grateful for the fix, but not at all happy with how long it took.

Anyway, quick recap...

• Still recovering from Providence Marathon, sort of.
• Ran a nice fast 9K yesterday and raised $1,070 for the Run to home Base! Awesome finishing in Fenway Park. Just awesome. More to come on that later.
  
• Have my CPR certification this weekend to make my RRCA certification official.
• Getting ready for the Hyannis Half this Sunday! Hope my quads feel better by then.

I'm always finding races I want to run. So I'm starting a list..

Dipsea (CA) - Did anyone see the story about this race in the May Runner's World? I have to run this race, even more so because Dipsea is so hard to get into. I may fly to California just to mail in my registration the day it opens.

London Marathon (UK) - It finishes at Buckingham Palace! Plus I'd get to visit London.

Mount Washington Road Race (NH) - 7.6 miles up 6,288 feet. Last 50 yards is a 22% incline. I love a challenge though I'm sure I'd be cursing myself during the race. Only way in is lottery. No luck this year, but I'll keep trying.

Eugene Marathon (OR) - I was inspired by Steve Prefontaine long before I even cared that much about running. He made me want to run. Now I want to run the marathon that finishes on his track at Hayward Field. I almost chose to run this marathon on May 2, 2010, but opted to stay local and run Providence. Next year... who knows!

Hood to Coast (OR) - This relay race takes place in my mom's neck of the woods. I want to run it with her. Just have to get her to run more than 20 feet!

Athens Marathon (Greece) - How awesome to run the original marathon route and finish in the birthplace of the Olympics?

Safaricom Marathon (Kenya) - My husband will see this and think I'm nuts, but this list doesn't have to be entirely sane. This marathon takes runners through a game reserve in Kenya. I don't think I'd have a shot of winning any age group prizes, but to run amongst the Kenyans in their own country... awesome.(test)

Just finished taking my exam to become a Road Runners Club of America certified running coach. Now I'm so happy to say that I passed! "A" student. :)

Now to get my CPR and First Aid certifications. That will be a nice Saturday event next weekend.

I've already had a few people ask me for running advice and I'm excited to get started. First plan of attack... Create my own personal training program for my fall marathon, which I think will be Hartford. First rule in this round of training... Always think positive!

Definitions of "Providence" according to Dictionary.com:

1. The foreseeing care and guidance of god or nature over the creatures of the earth.
2. God, esp. when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence.
3. A manifestation of divine care or direction.
4. Provident or prudent management of resources; prudence.
5. Foresight; provident care.

I'm not a religious or even a particularly spiritual person, but running the Providence Marathon today, I figured it couldn't hurt to think that maybe the stars would align and this would be my day to qualify for Boston. I've trained more this winter than ever before for a marathon. My half marathon times have been awesome for me. This could be it!

Not the case.

I ran a great race, right on pace give or take a few seconds, through the first 20 miles. 20 miles on pace! I'm very proud of that. Keeping that pace after mile 20... not easy in 80 degree temperatures.

While the rest of Rhode Island was enjoying the lovely sunshine and warm temps in their flip flops and shorts, those of us running the Providence Marathon were cursing. Why, of all days, did we have to have this weather?

You see it's not just the heat that's bad. It's what the heat does to you. Or to me at least. I take water and Gatorade from every fuel station I pass, but I don't drink all of it because I have a sensitive stomach. By mile 21 in 80 degree temperatures, my body was CRAVING fluids. I tried to take more earlier, but I knew it would come down to one problem or another -- stomach pain or dehydration. 

When I passed some waterways in the 20 mile range, I was tempted to jump in. I'm not even kidding. I was overheating. The next aid station I hit, I walked through it and drank several cups of fluids. Another big mistake. I started running just past the last volunteer handing out Gatorade and 30 seconds later thought I was going to throw up everything I just drank. I didn't, but that feeling never went away.

Another issue for me: I absolutely hate long stretches of roads or trails. A long stretch where I can see like 1/2 mile down the road is a nightmare for me. I thrive on courses with lots of scenery, spectators, twists and turns. Providence Marathon did not have a lot that, other than a couple of twists and turns. Very few spectators. A lot of residential streets and bike trails. A lot of boredom for me. Some people may love that. I just can't stand it. Too much time to think about every step.

So, combine the heat, my exhaustion, my nausea, my boredom with the lack of spectators and long stretches of straightaways... And I had a bad race. Or at least worse than I would have hoped.

But even with all that said, all of those excuses, I still think it was a mental battle I should have overcome. I had a few miles early on, including a few on some big hills, when I could have gone a little slower. Not much, but a little. That may have helped stay on pace till mile 22 or 23 at least, so I would have had fewer miles to suffer through in the heat at the end.

I also psyched myself out. Looking back at my Garmin stats, my 8:20ish pace dropped to 8:45 at mile 20. I remember it freaking me out, because I didn't have that much space to play with to qualify for Boston, so I tried to run the next mile fast. My "fast" at that point was only 8:35. Just a half hour earlier my fast was around 8:00 pace. I started really freaking out. I started to think maybe I won't be able to do this... THAT did me in. Once that thought entered my head everything in my body hurt. I started noticing every pain, every blister, my dizziness from the heat, my heavy legs, my heavy clothes from dumping a glass of water on myself... Just awful. I let in that seed of doubt and I let everything get to me.

Not my wisest move.

I honestly don't know that I could have BQed today, even if I overcame all of those mental and physical challenges, but I think I could have done better.

I'll just chalk up this race to more marathon experience. I'm glad I did it. And I'm looking forward to the next one even more.

Final time: 3:51:32 -- 7 seconds behind my NYC Marathon time, 10 minutes and 33 seconds away from Boston qualifying time.

We're here! I'm writing to you now from the Renaissance Hotel's 24-hour business center. It's quite nice, though these computers are way outdated... But anyway.

We had a great dinner at Andino's in Federal Hill. Now we're off to watch Fire Water. Then to bed early.

I'm excited and nervous about tomorrow. My biggest "dilemma" now is just deciding if I want to wear my headphones or not. I've never worn them for a marathon, and thought I never would, but after a few great training runs and shorter races with them... I'm wondering. I'll probably make a last minute decision about that in the morning.

I just wanted to wish my fellow Providence marathon and half marathon runners great luck in tomorrow's race! Hope we're all celebrating PRs over a beer when it's all over.

See you on the pavement at 8:00 am.

I can't believe it's marathon weekend.

It's now almost exactly six months since my last marathon. I've had six months to think about all the mistakes I made in NYC. Six months to wish I hadn't gone out too fast then. Six months to prepare for what I have to do this Sunday. Now it's all passed. I've done everything I can do. I just have to wait and see.

In the running coach class I took two weeks ago, i learned a lot about visualization. Visualization is a powerful tool that well trained runners use to prepare for an upcoming event. The thinking is if you are very focused and visualize something from start to finish, even the seemingly impossible, it actually can happen.

Here goes an abbreviated version...

I see myself at that starting line, waiting with anticipation. I hear the starting gun and go -- SLOW! I picture myself running along the water, nice and easy. I visualize myself picking up the speed just a bit, maybe, after a few miles in. I see myself running up a few hills, enjoying the change. I see my family and friends along the route. Reaching the half marathon mark. Starting to run at that threshold of pain, so my hip joints don't explode! Taking my water and fuel. Reaching the 17 mile mark, one of my least favorites. Tuning out the boredom and the pain. Reaching the 20 mile mark! Getting excited now. Just a few more miles. Mile 22, 23, 24... Time to let it all out now! Finally closing in on that 26.2!

Boston Marathon will happen one day, but providence must come first.

All I have left to do now is think.

Oh, and go to the expo tomorrow. Yay running stuff! :)

Tomorrow is Friday, which means the next day is Saturday and the day after is Marathon Day! YAYAYAYAY!!!

Just a little excited here.

Despite the excitement, it's still hard for me to stay focused and positive all the time. A Boston qualifying time seems like such a tremendous goal to achieve. I'm having difficulty believing it will really happen. I have moments when I think it's in the bag... Like when I finished my last half marathon in 1:40... Then I have moments when I think I'm still far from my goal.

When I finished the NYC Marathon last fall, I was just 11 minutes from a Boston qualifier. And even then, when I didn't have nearly as many miles under my belt, I thought I could have made the time. I went out way too fast. If I hadn't done that I really think I could have finished in 3 hours and 40 precious minutes.

But I'd have to wait to try it again. I'd have to wait till this weekend.

The day is almost here! Must stay positive.

#620

That's my bib number for the big day. Now I just have to get the rest of me ready, including figuring out which of my sneakers to wear. Kind of a big question. Frees or Equalons? Have to figure this out fast.

Here's a status check otherwise:

* Carboloading is under way. When is it not, though, really?

* Movement is minimal. And I'm losing my mind. Have to run tomorrow. I can't take this.

* Drinking more water. Woohoo! BIG accomplishment for me.

* Marathon outfit picked out. Very important.

* Early dinner reservation booked for Saturday at Andino's on Federal Hill. Bring on the pasta.

Just a few more days..

Quick look at my background:
* Born in Danbury, CT
* Raised in Marlboro, NY
* College in Kingston, RI (Go Rhody!)
* Live in Boston, MA

I also have a husband who's a Mets fan, a mom who's a Red Sox fan and a dad who's a Yankee fan. Let's just say, my dad and I are not that close.

But I digress.

I lived in Rhode Island for four years in college. My mom actually moved from NY to Jamestown, RI while I went to school, so I never really left the state much after my second semester. That said, I didn't do any serious running then, which is crazy because there are so many beautiful places to run. I never ran a road race. Never ran any regular routes.  I spent more time in the gym than outdoors. That's the exact opposite of what I do now.

Surrounded by beaches, cliffs, rocky shorelines, trails and waterways... I must have been nuts not to run outside.

Well I'll be making up for some lost time this Sunday. I'll get to run along a harbor in a city where I spent my college years -- in front of many of my closest friends. That's another first. My husband has been at the finish line of my two marathons so far, but no one else has ever seen me run one. I can't wait to see my friends along the route. I can't imagine anything that would kick my butt more into gear.

I'm so excited for Sunday. Rhody here I come -- again!

One year ago I ran the Big Sur International Marathon -- my first marathon ever.

Some people thought I was nuts for taking on a marathon that's considered one of the world's hardest. Some people thought I was nuts for even trying to run a marathon. But I'd run several half marathons and my times were improving. It was time to take the next step.

So three days after my 32nd birthday, I ran Big Sur.

Here are some highlights from that day:

* Waking up at 2:00 am to get on the 3:30 am bus to the starting line.

* On the bus ride, in the dark, trying to ignore the fact that I was leaning far forward on a long downhill ride toward the start -- a downhill that would later become a monstrous uphill in the middle of the marathon.

* Arriving at the start to the freezing cold morning hours. And waiting. And waiting.

* Spotting the 4:30 pace group and deciding at the last minute to join them.

* The starting gun and all the whooping that followed.

* Sticking close to my pacer -- thank god for her. She kept me laughing and distracted the whole way to the finish.

* Running along the first few miles in the cool woods. And losing that last extra layer of clothing I'd saved for the first few miles.

* Coming to the ocean and getting my first big breaths of the sea breeze.

* Seeing that water and almost having my breath taken away. I intentionally did not drive the route before the race because I wanted to be surprised. I sure was.

* Running alongside a hillside covered with cows that began mooing at us. Our spectators for the morning.

* Starting the climb at mile 10... which would last till mile 12!

* Passing the awesome drummers at the start of that climb. That drumbeat kept me powering up that hill.

* Reaching the top of the hill! Only to be crushed by the wind at the top. I didn't care one bit. I was elated to be done with what was considered scariest part of the race.

* Running slowly down that long hill, into a valley where the sun was pouring in. Again, breathtaking.

* Coming to the halfway point and crossing Bixby bridge. Woohoo!

* Losing my thought in my pacer's story of how she met her husband. That story lasted miles 17-20, when I needed the distraction most.

* Reaching mile 20. MILE 20 of my first marathon!

* My pacer telling me to dedicate each of the next few miles to important people in our lives. One mile for our significant others who miss us while we run. One mile for our relatives who may be too sick to run. One mile for our friends who don't understand why we can't stay out and drink with them...

* Hugging a volunteer and snagging a strawberry at mile 22-23. I loved that volunteer!

* Then mile 24, the pacer said to go. Just -- go. And I did. I picked it up and felt like I was flying.

* The next two miles I felt no pain. No hurt. Only complete and total elation. This must be the runner's high.

* Last 2/10 of a mile. Last 2/10 of my first marathon. Now I'm surrounded by spectators. And my husband is at that finish line.

* Time to RUN.